“When I started making those weird voices, a lot of people told me how whack it was,” she says, “‘What the fuck are you doing?’ they’d say. ‘Why do you sound like that? That doesn’t sound sexy to me.’ And then I started saying, Oh, that’s not sexy to you? Good. I’m going to do it more. Maybe I don’t want to be sexy for you today.”—Nicki Minaj (BlackBook Magazine)
Contemporary English: Our Father, who is in heaven, may your name be kept holy. May your kingdom come into being. May your will be followed on earth, just as it is in heaven. Give us this day our food for the day. And forgive us our offenses, just as we forgive those who have offended us. And do not bring us to the test. But free us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours forever.
Early modern English (c. 1600): Our father which are in heaven, hallowed by thy Name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever, amen.
Middle English (c. 1400): Oure fadir that art in heunes halowid by thi name, thi kyngdom come to, be thi wille don in erthe es in heuene, yeue to us this day oure bread oui other substance, & foryeue to us oure dettis, as we forgeuen to oure dettouris, & lede us not in to temptacion: but delyuer us from yuel, amen.
Old English (c. 1000): Laeder ure thu the eart on fheofonum, si thin nama gehaldgod. Tobecume thin rice. Gewurthe in willa on eorthan swa swa on heofonum. Urne gedaeghwamlican hlaf syle us to daeg. And forgyf us ure gyltas, swa swa we forgyfath urum gyltedum. And ne gelaed thu us on contnungen ac alys us of yfele. Sothlice.
DO IT ANYWAY. Also, ‘je cannae ph0t0sh0p’ - french, scots, and what-is-that-even in one sentence? Allow me to take this moment to give you all the awards that ever were.
:’) You are an enabler, which means that you get a special (aka terrible) prize (a term here used loosely) in the form of me dreamcasting Wildwood Dancing in the form of shitty un-photoshoppèdtogetherintolovelyand~meaningfulgraphics pictures of pretty people. IT’LL HAPPEN but not tonight.
Ugh like just—it’s so nice, to let it go. And by ‘it’ I of course mean linguistic normalcy or standards or what have you. Like. Just. I fear I am about to veer into the Land of Incredible Pretension here very soon if I go on any more, so I will only say that I am so glad you are here (there) to rejoice in the casting off of ruL3z with me and that it’s almost embarrassing in the sense that it’s like I’m some poetry kid who’s just discovered e.e. cummings and is like OMG YOU CAN DO THAT?!??11!?! I mean honestly. And yet I can’t bring myself to care because it’s just too great.
“If you are a student you should always get a good night’s sleep, unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which here means ‘flunk’.”—Lemony Snicket