you who swallowed a falling star

Just btdubsies, I saw this over break and ordinarily I would type up some big huge angry rant about just how horrifically problematic—no, not problematic, what’s a word for ‘worse than problematic’ other than ‘COMPLETELY MESSED UP’?—it was, but I’m so angry I don’t even think I can summon up the energy to articulate myself properly. It would just end up being a confused, rambling, tangential rant that would probably not do anything to convince anybody of anything. Plus Rue and I already puked up all the words about all the anger and all the feelings we were having right after we saw it, and it was very, how do you say, emotionally draining by which I mean infuriating (which the movie, not with each other) and ugh I just can’t go through that again.

So just know that Sucker Punch was, in summary, a wretched bundle of a whole lot of what I shall heretofore refer to as “the bad -isms” (which bundle included but was not limited to sexism and misogyny—masquerading as female empowerment!!!—racism, fetishization, and infantilization, and yeah I know a lot of those don’t even end with -ism BUT OH WELL THAT’S STILL GOING TO BE MY BLANKET TERM) and it made me want to sucker punch it in the kneecaps and oh on a less serious (but still baffling!!!) level there wasn’t even a single sucker punch in the whole movie, I was waiting for it the whole blasted time and there was absolutely a moment near the end where a sucker punch would have been p e r f e c t but NO they had to be huge bad -ist tools as well as not including any sucker punches!!!!!

Oh it was boring a lot of the time, too. So like. Third strike.

My mother is going to regret telling me that she would like any kind of mail.

Today was the first day of my acting class, and we did this thing where we filled out, like, a getting-to-know-you survey and then we all went around the room giving our answers.

Keep in mind that I honestly was not trying to be annoying, or cute, or funny, or defiant, or quirky. I just apparently don’t know what’s acceptable in these sorts of situations.

“A character trait you like in people.”

Everyone else: “Honesty.” “Openness.” “Respectfulness.” “Honesty.” “Honesty.” “Loyalty.” “Trustworthiness.” “Kindness.” “Honesty.”

And I’m over here being like, Oh no. What have I done. I should change my answer. I should change my answer I should cha— but then it gets around to me and

Holly: “Ambiguity, moral or otherwise.”

“A character trait you dislike in people.”

Everyone else: “Arrogance.” “Conceitedness.” “Self-centeredness.” “Disrespectfulness.” “Arrogance.” “Dishonesty.” “Cockiness.” “Having a big ego.” “Arrogance.” “Arrogance.” “Cockiness.” “Conceitedness.”

And congratulations, classmates, you have just described me and my friend Ms. Ego perfectly, I just kn♥w y♥u’re all g♥ing t♥ l♥ve me!! <3

Holly: “Boring niceness.”

#GOLD STARS FOR ME

#CORIANDER HOLLYHOCK FOR ALL THE AWARDS

I’m torn between horror at myself and horror at them for being so…nice. (I mean, are you all perfection cyborgs or something? Am I the only one of you who is heartless? Are we supposed to have those or something, because, like, I DIDN’T GET THE MEMO—)  And also weirdly in tune with each other! Like, I am one hundred percent not exaggerating with the repeat answers here!

I don’t know why I do the things I do. I need to work on my brain-to-mouth filter.

(These two girls did say bye to me when they passed me after class, though, and they seemed really smiley and friendly, so maybe there is hope for me yet, MAYBE PLEASE I JUST WANT YOU TO LIKE ME PLEASE. My answers to other questions were less obviously horrifying and more of the “My favorite actor is Johnny Depp because he can do anything. And also I like his face a lot, sooo” and “My favorite play is Hedda Gabler because she is just so cool and awesome and bitchy and great and wonderful, oh and the guns, all the cool guns!” persuasion so I think that may have had something to do with it. HERE’S HOPING.)

ninnyhammer- replied to your post: COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN

i mean if you were a lesbian I could probably help you out but alas you seem less interested in the fairer sex. tldr I lead a creepy sexyallly frustrated life

Seriously though I put on makeup and everything because I thought I was going out tonight.

And it’s not like Marke Zucksenberg and Anduardo Garverin can see my pretty face through the computer screen.

Here’s a haiku about my FEELINGS right now:

Tonight I thought I

was going to make out with

a cute boy with nice

abs who is from a

podunk far-off state (which is

weird because no one

from out of state goes

here but OH WELL) and now I

am sad, so so sad.

…Also very sex-

ually frustrated. Ver-

y very much so.

ninnyhammer- replied to your post: Tearing up

i would have partied with you

I KNOW YOU WOULD HAVE, AND THAT IS WHY I ADORE YOU.

And it would have been really fantastically great and I would not be stuck here want to stab myself in the chest because the place where my heart should be is aching SO BADLY UGH I JUST WANT THEM TO LOVE EACH OTHERRRRRR—

thatprettyoddfeminist replied to your post: You know that moment

SPOILER: YOUR PERIOD WILL WIN. SORRY.

Because I’m a fan of making convoluted extended analogies and of connecting everything to HP, I’m going to go ahead and say that I’m Harry and my period is my unruly hair and you’re the mirror at the Burrow saying, “You’re fighting a losing battle there, dear,” in a wheezy voice.

I only analogize to keep from weeping.